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Congress Approves Mandatory National Napping Program

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a rare display of bipartisan cooperation, Congress has overwhelmingly approved the National Rest and Recovery Act, establishing the country's first mandatory national napping program.

The legislation was reportedly inspired by President Donald Trump's highly visible habit of taking occasional naps during meetings, briefings, and other government functions.

Supporters of the bill argue that Americans have spent decades pretending to be productive while secretly wishing they could lie down for twenty minutes after lunch.

"This is about honesty," said one lawmaker. "For generations, Americans have been hiding in parked cars, supply closets, and airport terminals trying to catch a quick nap. It is time to bring this activity into the open."

Under the new law, adults will be encouraged to take random naps whenever they feel tired, bored, overwhelmed, or mildly inconvenienced.

Federal guidelines define an approved nap as lasting anywhere from seven minutes to three hours.

The Department of Labor has been tasked with developing a national framework for workplace napping compliance. Preliminary recommendations include reclining chairs, office pillows, and emergency blankets displaying motivational slogans such as "You Earned This."

Many employers initially opposed the legislation but later admitted that a sleeping employee is often less disruptive than a fully awake one.

The financial sector has expressed concern that stock traders may begin sleeping through periods of extreme market volatility. However, economists noted that many investment decisions already appear to have been made during naps.

Public response has been overwhelmingly positive.

"Honestly, I thought this was already legal," said one citizen while speaking from underneath a blanket in a conference room.

Medical researchers have cautiously welcomed the policy, although several scientists admitted they would need additional funding and perhaps a short nap before fully evaluating its effects.

Government officials estimate the program could increase national happiness by as much as 12 percent while reducing unnecessary meetings by nearly 80 percent.

The legislation is expected to take effect immediately, assuming everyone wakes up in time to implement it.

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